Korban Datang Lagi

Alhamdulillah... tercapai niatku untuk melangsaikan apa yang telah aku janjikan kepadaNya. It took longer to make it happen, but, alhamdulillah, He has made it possible. My only regret was the cow was smaller than what I had wished for, but, insyaAllah, with His permission, this would not be the last time. Semoga Allah menerima ibadah korban kami sekeluarga. Amin...

Pict courtesy of En.Goog as I couldn't find my camera.

Lappy Problem...

I have always love writing, and I bet wud always love it. But I have to forgo the passion for a moment as my laptop has occurred a problem. Till then...

Life's Little Wonders

A friend had posted on the facebook our photos back in the secondary days. Wow... and it brought back memories and I certainly cringed when I saw those photos. Then, I had a good laugh over it.

Growing up, life wasn't a bed of roses I must say. Money was rather tight, yet I had yearned for things that only parents of 5 digits income could afford. I believe I wasn't the best daughter to my parents, lazy most of the time. Lazy to study, lazier to help around the house. Now that I am a working mother like my mother was, I realized that my mother was a supermom. Breakfast would be ready before we embarked to our destination. I would gobble down food in the car as we leave very early in the morning to beat traffic blues. When we reached home in the evening, my mother would rushed through her Asar prayers before getting dinner ready. My task was to cook rice (not through the rice cooker, mind you), then I would hide away in my bedroom, pretending to be busy with my schoolwork. Teruk ey? I hung my head low recalling how terrble my behaviour was during the difficult teenage years.

Hence, this piece of writing is a reminder that I should follow my mother's example in taking care of my loved ones. I used to blame my mother for her not loving me as much she had loved my brother, Hezal. You could always tell how much she had loved him. I was the apple of my father's eyes that it used to be the quarelling point between my parents. Then puberty and the arrival of my little brother Adam hit our lives. I had always felt left out in my family's lives. Called it whatever you want, but that was how I felt during those ackward moments in my life.

Now, I realised that a mother's love is boundless. My mother may not show her love for me, making our relationship difficult, but she still loved me nevertheless. Therefore, I should not let the past repeat itself by showering my children with my love. They have to know that they are the pillars in my life, they are the reason why my life is now filled with colours and happiness that I had never imagined I could achieved. Alhamdulillah. Allah is Almighty. He had given me unhappiness so I would appreciate my happiness better.

Those reading this blog may wonder why am I bearing my skeletons when I should keep it behind close doors. I am not airing my dirty linens in public. This is just a reminder to myself and to my children about love. Love may not be shown, displayed, but that doesn't mean that the love is not around.

Hence, to my children, Farhan, Khadijah, Farah and Fatin, despite my being strict with you, despite my temper, you guys would and will always be the epitome of my life. InsyaAllah, nothing will change that. I love you guys, and only death would do us apart, AMIN.

Sentiments vs sentimentalist

You may be wondering why and how on earth could these unimportant and inexpensive items could make me wail like a baby yesterday evening. Yes, I did. I cried like a baby.

I was watching this Japanese series "I'm Old Enough". It is a programme that shows small Japanese children who were given tasks to perform on their own, i.e. running errands. When I was watching it, I wondered if my children could carry out the tasks, if we were picked to be in the show. Hmm...

What made the water-tap turned on was when they showed a family who has lost the father. The mom was struggling to make ends meet and they live hand to mouth. They couldn't even afford to own a dustpan (as shown in the pict), their dustbin lid was broken and the mother yearned for a tissue roller (similar to picture above) as one of her Christmas wish. So, as the task for the show, the mom gave her children (a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son) 6000 yen (equivalent to 10 days of food money) to spend at the supermarket for christmas. The mom did not mention what to purchase, the task was solely on her 2 small kids. Off they went in the afternoon, younger brother complaining of back-ache due to the heavy bag. Yet, the sister was very patient in coaxing her brother to move on, rubbing his back as they walked to their destination.

Once they reached the supermarket, they went straight to the dustbin. They insisted on purchasing what their mom had yearned even though the sales assisstant tried to persuade them to purchase a cheaper bin. Then, they headed to but the dustpan and the toilet roll. then, off they went to the cashier. I was deeply moved to note that neither of them had wanted to buy anything for themselves. Not even a candy bar to munch on their way home.

Their journey was rather long and tiring, and it was dark when they reached home. Their mom was crying to see them home, tired with lugging the things up and down the hill. I cried too seeing them hugged their mother and proudly show their purchases.

I was very touched to see the sibblings so cooperative and took care of each other. I guess leading a difficult life does have its advantages. It also made me realise that I should be grateful for all life's leisure, be it small or big. I am. Alhmadulillah....

Busy bee vs busy body....

Oh my, oh my, oh my....

I've abandoned my passion for writing for ages. My last entry was during the eid and now the eid is over. And I still have yet to find the time to write.

Every time I rushed from one corner of the earth to the other, gazilion thoughts and ideas would be flickered in my mind. And yet when the laptop is opened, mr fingers would be busy dancing to other tunes. My MUET final year exam questions to compose, exam schemes, exam schedules, etc. Not to mention form 4 final year questions  too. And to add salt to the wound, I was appointed the Q for the MUET Speaking examination. And this year, I was stuck with filling in the marks online. It wasn't that difficult, but somehow, my trustee computer just wouldn't download the form, no matter how hard I tried. I roped in computer experts from my school, they too were not able to shed me some light. Sigh...

However, Allah is ALmighty. I was finally able to complete the whole ardious procedure and voila... am here to continue my journal writing. Amidst marking my form 4 papers and muet too. Hehehe...

Life's little updates...

• the kids are down with fever, at very high temperature yesterday. Only Farah was spared. However, I believe the  bug has caught her for she was cranky and feverish this morning as I was alighting to my car. Kesian anak2 mama. We'll get through all this sayang. InsyaAllah.
• Mr. Hubby has been extra grouchy these past few days. I've asked, bugged and nagged about it, but he wasn't letting me in. Hence, I believe its better to leave it that way. I have to trust him that he would put things back in order, in his life that is.
• I believe I've added hundreds more kgs instead of shedding them off. Thankx to my colleagues who have been bitten by the  pot-luck-bug. hari-hari ader je makanan at the back. I too contributed to the share... hehe. Seronok makan ramai2
• Work is still abundant. Sigh... Can't wait for the holidays!

Till then, cherios!

xoxoxo

MamaLeen

Kesabaran dan Kebijaksanaan

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...

Sesungguhnya, hanya pada Kau yang aku sembah,

Hanya pada Kau aku berserah

Dan hanya pada Kau aku mohon pertolongan...

Sesungguhnya hanya Kau yang maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang.

Ya Allah ya tuhanku,

Kurniakanlah aku kesabaran dalam mengharungi ujianMu

Kurniakanlah aku kebijaksanaan dalam menghadapi dugaanMu

Semoga aku tidak menjadi hamba-hambaMu yang alpa,

Yang lalai, dan yang mendahulukan emosi sebelum akal...

AMIN, AMIN, YARABBANAL ALAMIN

Lazy Bum-Bum

Oooohhh... it has been a long, long time since I last opened and written on my blog. I had so much to write, so many ideas had formed in my mind, yet I failed to pen them down when I had the time. Entahler...  I was just simply malas. Malas to update my blog, malas to even open and go through facebook, malas segala-galanya.

The last time I wrote an entry, I was maidless yet vigourous. Now, I have a maid, and I turn to a lazy bum. SUCKS! I regret being a lazy bum, yet I can't turn away from being one. Haha... teruksnyers I...

Anyways...

I have turn into taking makjun as a supplement now. I have stopped consuming spirulina as it is so effective ... in increasing my appetite... Cheh. I wanna lose weight, not gain more. Hehe... However, that was not the main reason why. The reason was, I had problems with my menses. Instead of the usual 21 -28 day cycle (as I am on the PILL), it will come every 15th day after one cycle is over. As a result, I could only fast for two weeks during last Ramadhan, which in turn, made me a bit piss as I had wish it to be a better Ramadhan than before. Sigh. I know and believe Allah knows best, yet I know as His servant, I can't stop trying to be a better muslim every day. And I better find a remedy to my diagnosis. So, I turn to traditional practitioner who suggested eating makjun for a change. Looking at the price and it-so-called benefits AND the dose 1 biji sehari, I succumbed to it. Senang nih!

The first day was a real challenge as when I opened the bottle, I was surprised to find that instead of capsules or tables, it came in plastic balls. Huh? Takper, takper. Hero Kalah dulu. As often said by lower six students... a motivation to keep me going. As I peeled off the plastic cover, I was even more surprised to see that the 'makjun' is the size of a 20 cent coin. Mak oiii... besarnye. How am I gonna swallow it? Being the nut that I am, I swallowed it whole, resulting almost-vomitting scenario at 6.30 in the morning. Farhan's eyes turned big and round as he viewed his mummy struggling to swallow the pill. I finished a very large glass of warm water to slog it down the throat. Giler difficult. I swore that I would just throw away the makjun and that would be the last of it.

But... the next day, I knew I could never give up if I wish to be better and improve my ailments. And as I toyed with the #@%* makjun, I realised that I could just split it to smaller balls. Easier for me to swallow. I could kicked myself for not doing that earlier. Itupun tak terfikir, I chided myself as I swallowed the makjun. Chrettt...

So, today has been day 5 of makjun consuming, and I must say I feel that my body feels stronger (tho' not slimmer which is not part of its benefit, sigh!!) and sedap. Hehehe... If you know what I mean. So, I hope I am istiqamah and that my menses will not come in the next two weeks. I pray that my cycle would be back to normal, which in turn would be easier for me to practise 'family-planning'. Errr... cukuplah 4. 

Close-up look, courtesy of En. Goog

Ni pun En. Goog yang bagi, a sample of a makjun product

Report : Day 1

or is it day 2?...

Well, today I would like to share with the world a report on my progress on my new age resolution. Hehe...(we'll see how istiqamah I would be in keeping this up)

Anyways...

Yesterday, I was given a pleasant surprise when my grandmother and my uncle mokhtar (my mum's mother and brother respectively) dropped by for a visit. It was good seeing her as I have meant to go Muar several times, and somehow, often had to cancel last minute. My grandmother seemed well for a 92-year-old woman. However, she does misremember few important information from time to time. Takperlah... janji sihat.

When they headed back to Muar, the Fared clan hurriedly got ready for a shopping trip to Nilai. Nope, the trip wasn't for me, but it was for Mr. hubby who wanted to survey several cokking and storing equipment for his new eaterie which hopefully operate after the Eid..

Back to the report.

Since we came back from Nilai after Maghrib (empty-handed... tak caya kan??), I couldn't keep up with my resolution to do clean ups at nite. 

But... tonite, I was able to do almost everything from cleaning the toilet to macam2lah, with the exception of mopping the floors. But I did bring the pail up... So hopefully, that will be done too after blogging. So, tomorrow I would be able to clean the porch, garage... ironing and be off to Seremban with the kids for a 'joli' good time. Haha... So, one resolution was met today.

About refraining my temper and voice from escalating the Richter scale,... hmmm.... it wasn't much of a success. I did manage to kept mums several times to Farhan and Khadijah, but my voice simply went up when it comes to Farah. Sigh... My only excuse is that, this old 'dog' needs time to learn new tricks. I shall not give up, instead strive for the betterment in the days to come. InsyaAllah.

So, that is about all about resolutions and what nots. Till then...

My new age resolutions... at the age of 35

1. Try very and extremely hard to work on my health. Hence, I will watch what I eat, consume more spirulina or other supplements, and exercise. If I don't have the time for a jog, I will pocho-pocho and chicken dance with the kids. I'm sure the girls would love it, especially Farah over the Chicken Dance. I am doing this not because of the size factor, but, family and mind factor. I was inspired by a friend's blog http://www.onebreastbouncing.blogspot.com/ who had fought cancer for seven years. She passed away last Monday, just two days before her 40th birthday. As we share the same birthdate, it hit me right at the nerve. It is like a signal, a beacon... a reminder that it is never too late for anything..

Candle Blowing and coming of age

It was another mark on my age year yesterday.

How do I feel?

Ntahler.... How do you feel when you get older yet not wiser?

Onebreastbouncing

One weird title for an entry yea...

The reason. I was introduced to a blog site of a breast cancer patient. She wrote on her treatment, her pain, survival as she was diagnosed with more than a cancer. But what she wrote about her family had tears streaming down my cheeks. And she passed away this morning after holding her forte for 7 years.

I can't imagine how my life would be if we were to trade places. Emotionally, financially. She was very strong and optimistic of her condition. She was cheerful too, able to take things down her stride. Her only downside was her 'guilt' to her children. She felt that with her illness, she had robbed her children of ther childhood years. I cried reading her entry. I sure hope that her children would be able to read her entries and understand how much she had loved and cared for them. And this reminded me of my main reason of writing in a blog. I want to share my journey in this world with my loved ones.

I want the world to know how much I love my children, and how much I look forward to coming home each day to them. I may grouch, nag and drop several pinches when the house is uncleaned and things do not fall in order. But darling dearest, Farhan, Khadijah, Farah and Fatin sayang, you have been, and will always be, the epitome of my life. I love you dearest and hope that our journey in this world would always be happy and be hand-in-hand. Thank you for everything...

Gigilku Datang Lagik

Why? Simple... Two reason to it. Reason 1, I had too much durian last nite. I received 3 rather-big size durian from a student. Somehow, I couldn't resist the durian. I made sambal tempoyak, and cooked ikan bilis kicap. A dry dish to complement each lauk. The result, En. Hubby and I finished 2-whole pot of rice. Giler number 1. Then, when the kids were already in their dreamland, again another durian was massacred. The result, aiyooo, my body could not tolerate the heat and is starting to send stress signal. Aiyyooo again.

Reason number 2. Tomorrow, my dearest students would receive their MUET result. They are calm about it, their teacher is in jitters, wondering what awaits her at PPD tomorrow. Grrr...

Sigh! Susah gak jadik cikgu yer...

Maidless in PD

It has been days since my last update. Nope, it's not because that Susi has finally left us for good. Its not because I wake up early nowadays to settle what need to be cleared before leaving for work.. Nope to all of those sorts...

My laptop was the reason why I had long been silenced from the net. I had long to write, especially when unpleasant things occurred in my life.

Instance number 1 was when I blew up to a colleague. Heck, it doesn't feel good to scold someone even though she had given me a headache. Regardless of what people may think, yelling and letting my steam off is not a hobby of mine. And yes, I am not angry because of her promotion or anything. I am just pissed that with few students at hand, she had failed to give me the marks as she was supposed to do. And instead of apologising for her error, she had 'selamba'ly claimed that she was not the only one failing to do so. Haiya... Pleaselah. There are many things that you are not aware of. Don't give faulty reasons. People don't envy you, You are such a lady with so many accomplishments and a lot going on for you. And yes, God is the one who gives wealth, but you must also show you are worthy of such virtue. Friend, if you are reading this piece of writing, I shall not retract any of these words for I want you to understand, you need to change! If the whole world is angry at you, there must be a reason for it. Don't keep saying that we envy you for your promotion. Come on kawanku, think positive. Sigh... Anyways, this also act as a reminder to Hazleen Ahmad that she needs to be on her toes and always keep her work completed so that she would not be a hindrance to anyone. Don't want to be taunted by the saying, pot calling kettle black.

Life Instance No. 2. My lappie had a connection error. Hence, I wasn't able to logged in and accomplished many things that I need to do which has nothing to do with facebook, mail, blogging, etcetera. Agghhh...

Life Instance No. 3. I had trouble setting up ISIS for the form 6. I have been up to my neck since the holidays which made me miss my thrilling shopping spree at Mid Valley. I put on a thick face and spent several hours at a nearby school, seeking their expertise. Alhamdulillah and heart-felt thanx to Kak Norhaslinda and Asmaa, everything went smooth. Pening kepala woi... Even Pn. Tan couldn't lend a hand tau. But alas! My PKF6 told me even they had gotten the grading wrong. Hmmm....

Anymore life instances? Hehehe... Enough for the moment. Life without Susi has been smooth sailing. Alhamdulillah. The house may a little bit less clean. but heck, I'm occay with it. I've pat my back and hope that this streak will be flourished further. May I be bestowed with the gift of consistency and kerajinan and able to make the abode sparkling clean in the future. Aaa... internal only laa. Outside, it lies in the hand of mummy-in-law dearest. Kehkehkeh... belum cukup iman. Cis!

Teary-eyed I am

It rained this morning. Both outside and inside the Kelisa-Cooper today.

Fatin and Farah appeared happy this morning despite the gloomy weather. Waking them up was a piece of cake. They were still sleepy when Susi ushered them into the car. I had their bottles ready, just in case. Farah finished hers shortly after we passed Kak Sal's house. which is just a stone throw away from ours. Punyerla cepat dia minum. Anyways.

On the way to Hani B, Farah and I kept uttering good norning teacher, how are you teacher, etc, keeping our moods light and happy. HOWEVER, as soon as she sees the teacher approaching our car, she started to freak out, which in turned made Fatin cried too. I decided to help out by carrying Farah to the kindy while Fatin was ferried by a teacher. But as soon I put Farah down, Fatin took a look and saw me. Both Fatin and Farah started to cry and clinged dear life to me. As a result, I almost took the day off out of pity for my babies. Sedihnyer when you see your kids are taken away from you. Their don't-leave-me-mama look was heart shattering... I truly hope that it will get easier as the days pass by.

Farah and Fatin sayang, Mama loves you more than words can say. It is limitless and boundless. InsyaAllah, nothing would ever change that. However, sayang mama, mama needs to work. Please understand mama's predicament. I would only be leaving you several hours in a day. We'll see each other before the clock strikes 5, k? I promise.

Anyway, I had a lovely dinner at 5.30 p.m. today comprising of hot-from-the-stove nasi with sambal ikan bilis which I ccoked from scratch and siput sedut, courtesy of Restoran Samudra Pantai. The result, nasi 2 pinggan penuh. Burp!!

Crazy Days Ahead...

Like the title? Hehe...

Today is the first day of the many crazy days waithing ahead. The reason? My maid, Susi, is going back for good come this Sunday, 27th June. I believe I may have mentioned it in my previous entry. Hence, to prepare for that, I had send Farah and Fatin to a nursery near my school. I decided to send them earlier before Susi's departure for several reasons.

First, I need to know that my babies would be able to adapt to the changes. They are able to mingle with other kids and the transition to being the sole attention of a caretaker to teachers who would provide care and entertainment to not only them, but few others as well. And if things do not work out well, I would still have time to seek other alternatives.

Second, I need to know and organise myself, better. I woke up earlier than usual today (mind you, not easy after a two-week holiday yeh?) to get the kids prepared and leave the house by 6.30. Why very early? I need to stop by at the usual stop at  En.Hubby for Farhan's breakfast. Cook breakfast at home? Nanti lagik lambat. Mana nak clean up lagik kan. Anyways. Since I haven't registered the kids yet, I had to bathe them as I had to stop at school first to punch in and obtain permission from the Principal to leave school for a moment. So, today was very hectic and chaotic for me.

However, I am still very lucky as I could leave the house as it is. Susi kan ader lagik. Hehe... Come next week, I would have to wake up earlier than usual, most probably as early as Mr.Hubby to get the house organised, bla bla bla... So, as the title says... CRAZY DAYS AHEAD!

Psssttt... In light with today's event, I totally have my hats off to single mothers out there who have to single handed care for their children in the short and busy mornings and entertain their every whims after returning home. MUMS rock the world!

Life Gentle Reminders

I am now back in Port Dickson, in the loving arms of En. Hubby. When I saw my kids sleeping at their usual spot in my bedroom, it felt just rite. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling looking at them so at peace. The warmth gets better when I heard 'gentle' snores oozing from the man whom I said I do to. It feels good to know that things are back at their usual pace and form. A gentle reminder nomero uno that I'm blessed and blissed to be surrounded by my love ones.

The other reminder was when I accompanied my mil to a distant relative funeral. Many people attended her procession and that made me realized that what matter most is that we have to give our best and best side to everyone we meet, befriend and associate with. May with what we give will be remembered fondly by others, and be rewarded by Allah.

Another reminder is when I watched Santau on Astro while breatfeeding Fatin after the funeral rites. A reminder that Allah is Almighty, and as His servant, I MUST obey His orders. After all, that is the only thing I will take with me when we meet. Hopefully, I would remember what has been reminded. AMIN. And ehem! I gotta be on a diet babe! when I saw the husband (in the movie) had difficulty and carrying the wife as she was sick made me shudder thinking how Mr.Hubby would heave heavily if he were to carry me about. In this plus size of mine! Mak oiii... mau tercaabut nyawa dier. Kehkehkeh

Pss: I know my language is tunggang langgang, but as long it can be understood, Oklah tuh.

Udah Day 9 ghupernyer

Pejam celik pejam celik, I have been under abah's wings for 9 days. And today, the Fared clan would move to the legendary Legend Hotel in KL for four days and three nights. As a sign of gratitude for taking us under his care, I've cooked an early lunch for abah.

And today's menu is...

1. Ikan goreng

2. Paprik ayam, udang and sotong

3. Pucuk Paku Goreng Belacan

4. Telur Dadar for Hariz

Kahkahkah... What an entry. Bukannya gempak mana pun lauk tuh. (sheepish smile). Anyways, here are the pics.

Paprik

Pucuk Paku

Telur dadar

Yesterday and today...

Did not do much, did not even cook lunch nor dinner.

Courtesy of Adam and Abah, we drove to the Hornbill Restaurant at the KL Bird Park for lunch that was rather expensive, yet the ambience was magnificent. Then, we headed off to Tugu Negara, much to my children's amazement. But the weather was extremely hot that both Fatin and Farah turned red under the sun. We rushed back to the car for the aircond and Adam took us around TTDI and KL area. We were lucky that traffic was rather easy flowing but as the clock struck 4.00, the younger kids had enuff of the view in the car that they started throwing tantrums so we headed back to Abah's residence.

We bought banana fritters from an old family friend, Uncle Din, and that was dinner for the day. Hehe... I guess Farhan was rather hungry so he drew a timetable, organising our eating pattern for the next day. Haha...

So, for today's breakfast, I made fried meehoon. Lunch was KFC, coutersy of Abang Hezal via Kak Salbiah. There are still some chicken on the table, so I guess, I've covered dinner also. Hmm... talk about being a lazy mama.

Why am I not cooking up a storm? My heart doesn't feel right at the moment. Hanging out at shopping complex still did not do any betterment to my heart. Reason? Dunno. Maybe I'm missing a certain someone in my life. Or that me and a particular person are always at the wrong end. Buat ini salah, buat itu salah. I feel like giving up. But I know that is not the solution. Malas fikir, but the matter would always flashes in my mind.

One question that is always at the back of my mind is... what happens if I decide to call it quits?

Giler rajin...

Not that rajin as the title suggests. Sajer jer nak menggempakkan suasana.

Anyways, with excellent wireless in the house and still with a maid, I might as well logged on the net and try improve whatever knowledge that I can. I believe my laptop is of a good component, yet I only use it for work purposes. I realllllllllllyyyyyyyyy should explore its full capabilities. And I only have until Tuesday to give it a shot. Come Legend, no more wireless unless I go to a certain floor. Amat melecehkan...

Anyways, today's menu (to show that I'm still the chef) are... (pssttt... the pictures are courtesy of google archives as I couldn't find the hp cable)

A Crack In Heaven

Sounds a little sad, huh?

I am... for Mr.Fred has gone back home yesterday evening. I actually shed a few tears unexpectedly. Entahler, terjiwang pulak when he kissed me farewell. I would only be seeing him next Thursday, at the customary holiday ritual at The Legend Hotel in KL. Reservations have been made for 4 days 3 nights beginning on the 15th till 18th June 2010.

Today's activity, tak tau nak buat aper. Public places would be crowded during the weekends. Should have gallivanted during the weekdays. Sigh... Nothing seems right today, when Mr. Fred is not around. Hanging out at the Thaqwa Restaurant wasn't as much fun. Bear the nostalgic moments ya... Jiwang mode nih.

So, this is where would stay next week. Can't wait. (pics courtesy of the web, hence more than meet the eyes. Kehkehkeh)

The Living Room, before my children enter the apartment

Living area. You can see the couch has been turned into a sofa bed

This is usually where the 2nd room looks alike

The Kids central activity.

Another Day in Gombak. Day 5

Another day in paradise... to me.

Mr. Fred is is Gombak for the nite. Fells bliss that your love ones are under the same roof. He arrived just sometime before Maghrib and after the three-rakaat requirement to our Maker, we headed to Ikea. I have plans to convert Susi's room into the kids main laire. I feel it is about time that the children should sleep separately from us, the adults. But just Farhan and Khadijah for the time being.

The kids were jumping up and joy, trying out beds and kid's furniture, while I was browsing though night lamps for the room, when suddenly, jeng..jeng..jng.. Ikea experienced a black-out. Khadijah shouted for me in terror and I was rather surprised the two smaller infants kept their cool. In one minute, the emergency lights were on as I was gropping my way towards them. The alarms went off and the best thing was, everyone in Ikea kept their calm and could still continue shopping and putting things into their trolleys. Trust us Malaysians to boost up the economy at all times, eh? I gathered a flower-shaped light and grabbed Fatin and Khadijah while Mr. Fred held on to Farhan and Farah. As we went down the escalators manually, the announcements were made to keep the customers' reassurance, which I felt was rather unnecessary as they were still shopping and moving at their own sweet pace to the check-out counter. But one good thing about this foreign-and-big-name-shopping-centre is all emergencies are handled well and efficiently that by the time the Fared clan reached the cash registers, the lights were on and everything went back to normal. And hey presto, we contributed RM400+ to the sales last night. Huhu... (mujur ader blackout, kalau idak... I shudder thinking about it!)

This morning, after a very simple breakfast, Mr.Fred, Farah, Fatin and I, hopped on Abang Hezal's bike and took a ride at the Gombak residential area. Ronda2 and we stopped for another round of morning drink at Restoran Taqwa. It felt just right, hanging out there, drinking our coffee and teh tarik while the two Fs had nasi lemak. May not be as savvy as hanging out in Damansara or Bangsar, but still... cool enuff for me. Hehehe

So, todays lunch menu was cooked rather early in light of Friday prayers...

Nasi putih (picture courtesy of Google)

Ayam Masak Asam Pedas

Kobis Masak Lemak

Ayam Goreng Kicap (for the kids)

Masak lagi at Day 4 @ Ghumah Abah

Ari-ari citer masak. Hehe... Bukannya aper. Tulah kojo den setiap ari kalo kat Gombak nih. Bukannya pandai sangat masak pun, cuma siankan kat abah. Every day, makan masakan pembantu rumah dari seberang nih. Lagipun, inilah waktunya aku membayar balik jasa abah yabg telah mendidik aku dari kecil lagi. Hehe

So, today's menu are:

1. Nasi putih

2. Tomyam campur

3. Sayur Asparagus Goreng

4. Telur bungkus

Abah's verdict... Yum!Yum!

Todays Menu - Day 3 In Gombak

I am maidless today. Both Susi and Heni (my brother's helper) were given a day off to enjoy themselves. Susi would be going back for good come this 27th June. I might as well start the practise of being a Super-Mom today. [Macamlaer dia sorang jer dalam dunia ni yang ader anak ramai dan bekerja. cheh! Wakaka...]Anyways...

You can't blame me for being overdramatic in this maidless scenario, ok? I had helped since Khadija enter this world. So, to handle the forte after bearing 4 kids, on my own, won't be an easy task! But, insyaAllah, I'll survive.

So, back to the topic, since I was maidless, and with handling the 4 kids which include a sick Farhan, I only managed to cook ... Mee goreng and bubur lambuk. En. Abah took pity on me (or himself), he bought Nasi Beriani Ayam and Kambing for us. Hehe... So much for being a superwoman. Kahkahkah...

Menu of the day... Day 2 at En. Abah's

When I am back in Gombak, I believe I am a far cry from who or what I am in PD. Don't ask me why, but nothing beats the feeling of being at your own house. Not that my in-laws put a stop at anything that I wanna do at home, but... it's just different with your own family. So, when I am back with En. Abah, I become a homemaker. I cook, I clean, and I feel that my maid likes it here too. Mana idaknyer, dia pulak macam mem, sitting around, reading the newspapers, watching aruna, while I do most of the work. Teruk kan? It's not that I don't order her about, but I hate it when she and her cousin, my brother's maid, are together. Macam tak geti bahasa langsung. Gish! Anyways, this is digressing from the topic. 

Anyway, being the homemaker that I am (not!), here is the menu for today. Kari ikan and ayam goreng. Abah's verdict = sedap, tapi tak boleh challenge arwah mak. Hmm... Kena belajar lagik ler gamaknyer....

Home Sweet Home

After a long, long while, I am finally home at abah's place in Gombak. Nothing beats coming back to the place where you have been brought up, spent most of your time growing up. This house has so much memories for me.

According to Abah, this house is only a year younger than I am. Which makes it... ehem, adalah beberapa tahun-mahun. Hehe... Anyways, what make it extra special this time is that this might be the last time I'll be back to this house. Perhaps the next time I'm back, the house will be torn down and another new abode will rise. My dad has given the house to my big bro and he has decided to major renovate it to accomodate the whole of Ahmad clan. He plans to build to a double storey house with his family occupying the top floor. There would be only two rooms on the ground floor, abah's & mine (share ler...) and adam's. I dunno the whole details, but the rough's plan is that.

I'm happy that my brother is willing to shoulder the responsibility of upgrading the house. The house is old and in dire need of repair here and there. Itupun, alhamdulillah, my brother had done renovations to the toilet and bathroom after my late mom had renovated the front area. That is the case with houses, kan? Just like cars, they need constant care and repair. Hence, keep your cash aplenty, folks....

Me life's ups and downs

The Yess...

• cuti sekolah is just around the corner, so En. Abah, get your house, mind and nerves ready to be disturbed by yours truly and her abundance children invading your property. 2 minggu tuh... I'll bet you would be happy when the holiday ends. 
• I finished my marking! Yabedabedoo... total holiday mode. Shopping, relaxing...
• Would be staying longer than usual. Almost two weeks. Huhu...
• Was awarded extra cash to spend. Alhmadulillah, ader rezeki En. Abah yer...
• Tak sabar nak anta farah and fatin to a nursery. Hope they will have fun and dipermudahkan segala urusan in sending them there

The Nooozzz...

• Leaving En. Hubby behind. I'm sorry sayang, but I know when I'm not wanted. I need space and time to recuperate and bounce back...
• Will be without a helper after a long time of self-pampering sdn.bhd. Kena reschedule life after the holiday mode. Kena rajin after this. I have to learn to handle the house hold chores and the children by myself. En. Hubby - kan dia dah keluar keje by 4.00 a.m. Camanek nak tolong. Semoga dipermudahkan olehNya dan semoga juga aku ni makin rajin.
• and due to point two, my mil would be happy and delighted that En. Hubby and my rendesvous hours would be limited.
• takut gak my temper would be incontrollable when I'm tired.
• no mp
• the hole in my pocket would be bigger as I have to fork out more for the nursey, extra help, cooking... Not easy to maintain a large family, eh?

In short, I actually look forward to another tumble in my life. I called it a tumble, not a hindrance, as I believe this could help me to optimize my capabilities. I could learn to improvise myself when I have to handle and care for the children and house by myself. I do pray that I will not succumb to my emotions and negative feelings, especially if things do not go well as planned. But I could only plan, Allah determines the best.  Manalaaa tahu, the bonus of losing weight would finally fall on me. Kan??? Bestnyer... Anyways...

Kenapalah...

Kenapalahhh...

• Aku ni sayang sangat pada anak-anak muridku? Aku tak sepatutnya menyayangi mereka, aku hanya perlu manjadi guru mereka. So what if they fight in class, if they decide to skip school to celebrate a friend's birthday, if during their celebration a mishap befalls on them... so what... tapi, hakikatnya, I can't keep away from caring about them. Kenapalahh...
• Aku ni kurang penyabar? Dengan bekalan ilmu yang ada, walaupun tak setinggi maner, dengan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang guru, I shud know better to control my temper, my tongue and my sanity in tact. Especially in bringing up my children...
• Aku ni suka berbelanja? Why can't I be placid in my spending, buying only the necesseties... I know that money is not tight and I could afford to splurge from time to time. But, isn't it better to fill up the coffer instead? Wouldn't it be marvellous to have puluh-puluh ribu, or perhaps hundreds of thousands in the bank account? Sigh... yet I can't pull myself away from sales, shopping complexes...
• Aku ni judgemental? Haha... not to everyone. but to certain people in my lives. I should learn to respect and trust other people more. Macam orang dulu-dulu. Always caring towards one another, looking out for one another... I remember when I was a kid, the door and gate to my house were seldom shut. The house was small, hence we often let the door open to allow the cool breeze in. Mana ada aircond waktu tu. Only the rich could afford to have them installed in their houses. Electric gate comes with remote as big as the smart tag. Haha... Eh, I digress... Anyways...

So, how now brown cow? What to do with these situations? Any ideas anyone?

Pss... I had intended to write entirely in BM, but...

Selesa Hotel, here I come

I have to attend another meeting today. It starts at 2.00, at a hotel nearby. Near my school, a bit far from my humble abode. The meeting is till tomorrow, which means technically I have to spend the nite there. But, with a still breasfeeding infant, most probably I will drive back, regardless at what odd-hours the meeting wud adjourned. Then, head back to the hotel the next morning, continuing where we had left off.

Mr. Hubby had consented on me staying there... tapi...

These are part of the emotional turmoils a working mother has to go through. Career expectations, family responsibilities... and yet, we make the best of everything, kan?

Anyways... musti ku penat giler on wednesday, but nothing beats on skipping cocurricular activities. Yippee!!!

Be still my heart...

Basically, I am an emotional person. My heart has better control of my mind. Being a mother has made it worse. I keep thinking on my children's welfare if both Mr.Fred and I are no longer breathing in this polluted world.

Watching the news is not a pleasant task anymore. I browse through the papers, looking for interesting pieces of news, instead of perusing through it.

When others fight, go through tribulations in their marriages, has troubles in life, I get worried. I worried about them, worried that it could happen to me, worried what would happened to me and the kids if it were to happen to us, worried, worried, worried.

Every decision made, either by me or Mr.Fred, I would worry. Worry at the consequences, worry that it could be a wrong decision, worry, worry, worry.

The reasons...

1. The world is getting harsher and more difficult to live in, day by day. Family bond is not what it used to be. We tend to quarrel at petty things and we always wanna win in those fights. We feel that every decision that we make is right, we never care for explanations anymore. As long we emerge winners in the fights, we feel smug. We dig far and near to find battling grounds where we would emerge victorious. What happens next is beyond our care. Or we feel that simply by saying sorry, all broken fences would be mended. We forget that when harsh words are exchanged, there would be scars left behind. Some scars are superficials, they are easily healed. Some scars are beyond healing... So, how do we survived? We forget that when we fight, others are affected. Innocent parties. Parties who are torn when their loved ones bicker. They can't choose sides, for fear of losing any.

I have always believe that family is the root to and of everything. I truly pray that my children would grow up as a close knit family. That they would always be at each other side, through thick and thin. I hope they will never forget how special they are to me, and to each other. when they fight, words and decisions are made carefully as not to harm one another. They should remember that the objective of a fight is not to win, but to settle issues. They have to remember the outcome of every decision made, the impact it would create. To me, to the family, to each other. I hope they would always remember the good things that they have done for each other and it would always outweight any negative preceptions that they may have for one another. No ganging up against a sibbling, instead talk and discuss it wisely with each other.

Dear Allah, I hope you will grant my doas and I know You know what and how I truly feel at this moment. Ya Allah, thank you for your guidance, and for everything. Thank you for letting me know their true colours, their true identity and their true intentions. Now I know the precationary measures needed for my future and children alike. Thank you...

But I thank You most for their roles in my life. I have truly cared about them, I truly enjoy their company and I wish them the very happiness in their lives. My heart is always open for them, and their families. After all, I have always believe that "air yang dicincang takkan putus".

The Wind Beneath My Wings

My day began without my usual passenger by my side. The journey to Mr. Fred's eateries seemed very long... and very lonely. Farhan had to skip school today. He had to skip KAFA yesterday too. He is down with fever. I am slightly worried now that H1N1 is on the rise again. But, I will stay calm and collected, for I know that both Mr. Fred and I are just a phone call away.

When I reached Mr.Fred's, I was a bit down when my favourite breakfast (my Fred makes the most delicious mee rebus) wasn't ready. So, with my muncung lips, I had it packed and head off to work. Did not even salam Mr.Fred.

The work began with me invigilating 4 Techno. Had to climb up several flight of stairs to the Bilik Peperiksaan to get the papers. Heeshh... what a 'great' start to the day. When I was at the room, Mr.Fred started with his sms, bugging me to be online. He claimed what I did was a hit. I was greatly intrigued, yet he refused to divulge more information. Grrr... He knew I am a girl who rarely could contained her curiousity to herself. I rushed to the car and took out the laptop. After distributing the question papers, I logged in to the Facebook. Nothing interesting and amazing, I smsed to Mr. Fred. He gave a clue that it was linked to my blog. Again, I surfed.

What I saw nearly brought tears to my eyes. He has logged into my blog and wrote something beautiful and amazing. So, thank you sayang for making my day a great day today. Thank you for your love and patience... and understanding your wife bad habits and kedegilan tahap tepu... thank you for always being by my side. Luv, I truly dedicate the song Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler to you for you are truly my Wind Beneath My Wings...

Inilah Keluarga Bahagia

Setiap saat hidup ini penuh dengan suka duka kehidupan. Oleh yang demikian kami sentiasa memupukan perasaan cinta sesama sendiri. semakin hari semakin mendalam.

Dalam kehidupan ini pelbagai dugaan lagi cabaran yang harus ditempuhi. Alhamdullilah dalam kehidupan kami telah lengkap segala-galanya.  Kami bersyukur dan yakin dengan arah tuju. Selagi kita berada dalam landasan kebenaran tidak ada ranjau yang tak boleh dilalui.

Fatin Fatihah.

Anak yang paling bongsu ( setakat ini) kenali dari sifatnya  yakin Fatin seorang yang penyabar lagi bijak. Hingga kini Fatin masih lagi menyusu badan . Sentiasa menggembirakan keluarga. Neneknya bergitu mennyayangginya. Anak yang sentiasa ada senyuman manis walau giginya baru 2.

Farah Nadrah

Kelahirannya memeranjatkan kerana pada mulanya kami menyangkakan anak ini adalah lelaki. walau bagaimana pun kami tetap bersyukur dengan kelahirannya. Farah cukup aktif sehinggakan terasa sikap Farah lebih aktif bebanding dengan abangnya. sentiasa bersikap ceria. Dari telatahnya kerinduaan pasti timbul. Menjadi kesukaan atuknya.

Siti Khadijah.

Kerana eeija perempuan namanya telah di pilih oleh atuknya. Seorang yang lemah lembut. sering dibuli oleh adiknya. mana taknya hari2 pasti ada tanggisannya kerana Farah sering menggangunya. Mempunyai sikap ketelitian yang tinggi dan sentiasa berhati2 dari dalam pecakapan atau perbuatan sentiasa penuh dengan tertib.

Muhamad Amirul Farhan

Seorang ketua keluarga yang bakal menggantikan papanya. Mempunyai sikap tanggung jawap kepada adik2nya. walau pun sentiasa nakal Farhan sememangnya bertanggung jawap. bercita2 seperti papanya . Farhan teramat disayangi oleh mak longnya. ada sahaja aktiviti mereka bersama. Kami sebagai ibu bapa sentiasa menggajarnya mengenai tanggung jawap.

Hazleen

Mama kepada semua anak2nya. menjadi pilihan untuk tidur bersama anak2. mama yang penyayang juga kememeh dengan kerenah anak2nya. Bertanggung jawap serta sering membantu papa. Kasihkan keluarga mengatasi segala2nya. Sentiasa mencuba untuk lebih berjaya. walau ada kelemahan bagi papa kasih sayangnya telah mengatasi segalanya. Seorang yang boleh berdikari lagi mencari jalan penyelesaian.

Muhamad Farid

Seorang Papa yang mempunyai kasih telah mencuba agar segala2nya sempurna. Insan yang penyabar dengan kerenah manusia di sekelilingnya. Penuh tanggungjawab dan tidak mudah tewas dengan cabaran. InsyaAllah sayangku, rezeki Allah terbentang luas untuk kita. Selagi kita berusaha dan bertawakal, Aleen yakin, rezeki kita pasti ada dan melimpahi hidup kita sekeluarga. Thank you sayang for your love, patience and understanding. After all, you are the wind beneath my wings...

Itulah keluarga kami. Kasih sayang antara kami tak mungkin pudar selagi kami ada keyakinan antara satu sama lain. Semoga keharmonian dalam keluarga ini berkekalan selama2nya.... amin

eeyet

Psstt... Yang italics itu is written by his other half, me!

Nothing specific in mind

Felt like updating my blog, with very little ideas on what to write about. Am currently invigilating students' monthly exam and was able to peruse over the blogs by friends alike. While tinkering and toying over the net, I realised that I write very little nowadays. My command of the language is slippering down the hill. Know that I have to spend more time reading and writing. I don't want to be in trouble when I pursue my studies.

I have to be focused on my needs and my future. A very good friend of mine has 5 small children, the eldest in only in Year 2 and she has completed her PhD. Ari dearest, I'm very proud of you. Pray that my path towards a higher level of studies will be made easy. Another example that set my ambition on fire is my sister-in-law. She has completed her Masters and may switch job to another uni. Now that she has her masters, anything is possible.

I wonder if I could juggle family, work and studies well. I am a procastinator, a habit difficult to shake off since my uni days. Now with 4 kids in tow, the more reason to procastinate. Sigh...

Mr. Fred had asked me a few months back if I would like to be a lecturer, if I ever regretted resigning from the post of a lecturer... Sincerely, I missed having adults as students, where class management is a breeze, but I must say that I am happy with what I have. Allah has been very kind to me, but then He always is. And I hope this happy and blissful state that I am in will be continued and further flourished till the day I shut my eyes.

Life would be better if Mak is still around. Now that I am a mother myself, there are questions and stories I could share with her. Perhaps we could be closer now. Bond better. But then again, she might frown at the idea me living with my mother-in-law, although the fact is, it is the other way around. Hehehe... confused? Allow me to clarify. My husband was given a plot of land by his mother back in 90's. Then, being the only son, he was responsible to build a house big enough to accomodate his family. I wasn't in the picture back then. The girls in his family did not want the daunting task of having their names in the bank i-o-u list so he had to shoulder it on his own. He pays for the loan and all the utilities... so, it is his house by fact and opinion. There...

Ok, enuff nick nack for now. Gotta kutip the papers from the students. Till then... huhu