Sunday 31 October 2010

Life's Little Wonders

A friend had posted on the facebook our photos back in the secondary days. Wow... and it brought back memories and I certainly cringed when I saw those photos. Then, I had a good laugh over it.

Growing up, life wasn't a bed of roses I must say. Money was rather tight, yet I had yearned for things that only parents of 5 digits income could afford. I believe I wasn't the best daughter to my parents, lazy most of the time. Lazy to study, lazier to help around the house. Now that I am a working mother like my mother was, I realized that my mother was a supermom. Breakfast would be ready before we embarked to our destination. I would gobble down food in the car as we leave very early in the morning to beat traffic blues. When we reached home in the evening, my mother would rushed through her Asar prayers before getting dinner ready. My task was to cook rice (not through the rice cooker, mind you), then I would hide away in my bedroom, pretending to be busy with my schoolwork. Teruk ey? I hung my head low recalling how terrble my behaviour was during the difficult teenage years.

Hence, this piece of writing is a reminder that I should follow my mother's example in taking care of my loved ones. I used to blame my mother for her not loving me as much she had loved my brother, Hezal. You could always tell how much she had loved him. I was the apple of my father's eyes that it used to be the quarelling point between my parents. Then puberty and the arrival of my little brother Adam hit our lives. I had always felt left out in my family's lives. Called it whatever you want, but that was how I felt during those ackward moments in my life.

Now, I realised that a mother's love is boundless. My mother may not show her love for me, making our relationship difficult, but she still loved me nevertheless. Therefore, I should not let the past repeat itself by showering my children with my love. They have to know that they are the pillars in my life, they are the reason why my life is now filled with colours and happiness that I had never imagined I could achieved. Alhamdulillah. Allah is Almighty. He had given me unhappiness so I would appreciate my happiness better.

Those reading this blog may wonder why am I bearing my skeletons when I should keep it behind close doors. I am not airing my dirty linens in public. This is just a reminder to myself and to my children about love. Love may not be shown, displayed, but that doesn't mean that the love is not around.

Hence, to my children, Farhan, Khadijah, Farah and Fatin, despite my being strict with you, despite my temper, you guys would and will always be the epitome of my life. InsyaAllah, nothing will change that. I love you guys, and only death would do us apart, AMIN.


Monday 25 October 2010

Sentiments vs sentimentalist


You may be wondering why and how on earth could these unimportant and inexpensive items could make me wail like a baby yesterday evening. Yes, I did. I cried like a baby.

I was watching this Japanese series "I'm Old Enough". It is a programme that shows small Japanese children who were given tasks to perform on their own, i.e. running errands. When I was watching it, I wondered if my children could carry out the tasks, if we were picked to be in the show. Hmm...

What made the water-tap turned on was when they showed a family who has lost the father. The mom was struggling to make ends meet and they live hand to mouth. They couldn't even afford to own a dustpan (as shown in the pict), their dustbin lid was broken and the mother yearned for a tissue roller (similar to picture above) as one of her Christmas wish. So, as the task for the show, the mom gave her children (a 5-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son) 6000 yen (equivalent to 10 days of food money) to spend at the supermarket for christmas. The mom did not mention what to purchase, the task was solely on her 2 small kids. Off they went in the afternoon, younger brother complaining of back-ache due to the heavy bag. Yet, the sister was very patient in coaxing her brother to move on, rubbing his back as they walked to their destination.

Once they reached the supermarket, they went straight to the dustbin. They insisted on purchasing what their mom had yearned even though the sales assisstant tried to persuade them to purchase a cheaper bin. Then, they headed to but the dustpan and the toilet roll. then, off they went to the cashier. I was deeply moved to note that neither of them had wanted to buy anything for themselves. Not even a candy bar to munch on their way home.

Their journey was rather long and tiring, and it was dark when they reached home. Their mom was crying to see them home, tired with lugging the things up and down the hill. I cried too seeing them hugged their mother and proudly show their purchases.

I was very touched to see the sibblings so cooperative and took care of each other. I guess leading a difficult life does have its advantages. It also made me realise that I should be grateful for all life's leisure, be it small or big. I am. Alhmadulillah....

Wednesday 20 October 2010

Busy bee vs busy body....

Oh my, oh my, oh my....

I've abandoned my passion for writing for ages. My last entry was during the eid and now the eid is over. And I still have yet to find the time to write.

Every time I rushed from one corner of the earth to the other, gazilion thoughts and ideas would be flickered in my mind. And yet when the laptop is opened, mr fingers would be busy dancing to other tunes. My MUET final year exam questions to compose, exam schemes, exam schedules, etc. Not to mention form 4 final year questions  too. And to add salt to the wound, I was appointed the Q for the MUET Speaking examination. And this year, I was stuck with filling in the marks online. It wasn't that difficult, but somehow, my trustee computer just wouldn't download the form, no matter how hard I tried. I roped in computer experts from my school, they too were not able to shed me some light. Sigh...

However, Allah is ALmighty. I was finally able to complete the whole ardious procedure and voila... am here to continue my journal writing. Amidst marking my form 4 papers and muet too. Hehehe...

Life's little updates...
  • the kids are down with fever, at very high temperature yesterday. Only Farah was spared. However, I believe the  bug has caught her for she was cranky and feverish this morning as I was alighting to my car. Kesian anak2 mama. We'll get through all this sayang. InsyaAllah.
  • Mr. Hubby has been extra grouchy these past few days. I've asked, bugged and nagged about it, but he wasn't letting me in. Hence, I believe its better to leave it that way. I have to trust him that he would put things back in order, in his life that is.
  • I believe I've added hundreds more kgs instead of shedding them off. Thankx to my colleagues who have been bitten by the  pot-luck-bug. hari-hari ader je makanan at the back. I too contributed to the share... hehe. Seronok makan ramai2
  • Work is still abundant. Sigh... Can't wait for the holidays!
Till then, cherios!

xoxoxo
MamaLeen